I did a goof

I’ve been working on a fan art painting of the characters Dream and Matthew from Neil Gaiman’s The Sandman, one of my all-time favourite graphic novels. I’ve made a lot of Sandman fan art, but I was really excited for this painting because a Netflix adaptation of it was just released. My plan for the piece was to have gold ink sacred geometry behind Dream, and I mixed glow-in-the-dark pigment with the gold ink so that it would glow when the lights are turned out.

And it worked! Until it didn’t.

I varnished the painting today, and the varnish completely smeared and lifted up the gold ink I’d used.

*facepalm*

Now, I’m someone who has a strong predisposition to self-criticism. My inner monologue (that a therapist who helped me very much a few years ago called ‘[my] maniac headmate’) loves negativity and self-criticism. Thankfully, I have a lot of practice now at not listening to the self-criticism and generating thoughts that are more kind to myself.

Honestly, I’m mostly just chuckling at this point. Just as a dream is ephemeral and fleeting, so too was my lovely glow-in-the-dark painting of Dream. Thankfully, I got photos beforehand!

I’m frustrated that this happened, but making art is messy, complicated, and mistakes happen all. the. time. I am thankful that I made this mistake today, so that I’ll know better for next time. This painting was just for me, not a commission or anything for sale, so I can still be proud of this work, if nothing else as a reminder that shit happens, and that that’s ok. I can learn from it. I can improve my practice for the next one.

Mandalas for Mindfulness - Part 1

Mandalas are an ancient spiritual practice from Hindu and Buddhist traditions. They are circular patterns which, in some traditions, are ceremonially created and destroyed to symbolise the universe and the impermanence of everything. Today, they form the basis of spectacular art in countless media all over the world. From doodles to intricate paintings, from tattoos to architecture, there are limitless examples of the mandala as a creative outlet and a way for artists to express their connection to the universe.

So if there are so many mandalas out there, why should you make your own? Because the process of constructing a mandala is a wonderful mindfulness exercise. Mindfulness is the kind, non-judgemental observation of the present moment. It is much harder to do than it sounds. So it takes practice! In this post, I will show you how to get started with a basic mandala drawing. In later posts, I will discuss some of my more detailed drawing techniques.

1: Essential equipment

• a piece of paper

• a pencil

• a pen

Some non-essential (but handy) additional equipment:

• a drawing compass

• a ruler

• a protractor

I am a big fan of using what you have! You don’t have to wait to buy a compass in order to start drawing mandalas today. For example, this is a mandala that I sketched freehand in pencil with no compass. It’s not perfect, but it’s still a mandala. And it was a wonderful way to get myself grounded.

This is something you can do VERY quickly with almost no equipment.

2. Drawing concentric circles
Whether you use a compass or draw freehand, the foundation of any mandala is concentric circles. I like to start by finding the middle of my paper and then drawing circles outward from there. You can be very precise and measure the incremental sizes of your circles, but I tend to just vary the size and make them randomly.

3. Mark some quadrants

This can be as complex or simple as you like. You can simply mark the top and bottom half, or quarters, or sixths, or eighths. If you have a protractor, you could mark lines at 10 degrees all the way around the circle. This is just an aid to help you keep things somewhat repetitive and symmetrical as you draw your way around each circle. (Don’t freak out about my mass of circles here on the left - I got carried away doodling with my compass!)

4. Start mindfully drawing around your circles!

I recommend always drawing mandalas with pen. Yep, no erasing. This is because mandalas are NOT about perfection - they are about practice! I also think it’s really important not to spend so much time in a pencil sketch that your mandala ends up becoming a planning exercise instead of a mindfulness practice.

So here, with your pen, is where mindfulness really kicks in. Pay attention to how the pen feels as it crosses the texture of your paper. What does it sound like? Can you smell the paper/pencil/eraser/pen? How do you feel as you look at your drawing? Remember to try observing everything with kindness and without judgement. Your circles will probably not be perfect. You may accidentally smudge your ink.

I often start by drawing just a few lines of ink around my mandala. Then I start in the centre with patterns and work my way out.

4. Erase your pencil guide marks +/- embellish as you like!

I use waterproof pens to draw my mandalas so that I can use water-based paints over the top. You can avoid this problem by using pencils or crayons over ordinary ballpoint pen. Or just leave it without any colouring-in! Whatever you feel is right, is right. This one I just left plain as I love how it looks in black & white.

Finished mandala

Here are some examples of recent mandalas that I have made in which I did use paint to embellish them:

Lastly, here are a couple of resources that I have found helpful:

The Mandala Guidebook by Kathryn Costa

Mandalas for the Soul

I encourage you to create freely! You do not have to be an experienced artist to make beautiful mandalas. All you need is enthusiasm, some paper and something to draw with!

Kiva-Marie ❤️

Lessons from my cup of coffee

I love coffee. The coffee itself is good, but mostly I love drinking coffee because I associate it with so many positive things: mornings spent with my mum, conversations with good friends, tidbits of serenity in the chaos of a busy day.

I think we can learn from almost anything how to cultivate well-being in ourselves. Coffee is no exception. Here are four things I think we can learn from our daily cup o’ joe:

1) Take time to savour the moment.

No matter how busy your day is/will be, it is worth taking a small bit of time out to just be still and enjoy right now. Paradoxically, slowing down helps us perform better in our daily lives.

Sometimes, as a mindfulness exercise, I pause and do a quick scan of my senses: what can I see right now? what can I hear? smell? taste? feel? You can incorporate this exercise rapidly into your morning coffee. Watch the steam rise from the mug. Listen to the sound of your sips. Inhale and taste the goodness. Feel the warmth radiating to your hand.

Doing this adds no time, but certainly adds value to your coffee-drinking experience. Focusing on every experience in this way not only helps you to remember better, but appreciate things more fully by really allowing you to be present.

(2) Don’t overdo it.

One or two cups of coffee frequently takes me from morning zombie to semi-functional humanoid. Much more than that, and I get palpitations and upset stomach. We need to take in all things in safety and moderation. THIS INCLUDES WORK. Pace yourself. If you need a break, take it.

(3) Say yes to cream or sugar if they make you happy
(and to hell with anybody who tells you not to).

Life is short. Drinking black coffee doesn’t make you a badass, loving yourself does.

(4) Rituals are important - don’t skip them.

Making the time to do things that give your life meaning and make life enjoyable is always worth it. Don’t hit the snooze button at the expense of the rest of your day! It doesn’t matter what your little daily rituals are, they’re sacred. It’s the way you tell your body and your mind that you are valued and cared for!

- Kiva-Marie ❤️

Self-compassionate Mindfulness During the Holidays

Nothing will be perfect, so we can only do our best, and let the rest be.

The holidays can also be a painful time of year.  Relationships and pocketbooks are strained. Grief and loss are magnified. Days are short and demands on time are high.  Travel and visitors may amplify all of the above.

Mindfulness is one tool that can help us through the hardest times of our lives. A good definition for mindfulness, by James Baraz, is, ‘simply being aware of what is happening right now without wishing it were different; enjoying the pleasant without holding on when it changes (which it will); being with the unpleasant without fearing it will always be this way (which it won’t).’

I like this definition because mindfulness is about observation.  Circumstances can be both bad and good at the same time.  For example, during the holidays, we may relish the aesthetic, the food, the time with family, but this can feel drowned out by the busyness, crowded stores, relentless advertising, and overplayed holiday music. I don’t love Mariah Carey’s All I Want for Christmas Is You, but it’s only a four-minute song.  I can choose to spend those four minutes ruminating about how much I hate the song or worrying about whether they will play the song again this hour, or I can simply observe that the song is playing and feel gratitude that it will end in its own time.  Perhaps the next song will be something I love! Or perhaps it won’t be, and I’ll choose to turn the radio off.  It’s up to me.

Mindfulness means acknowledging all of these pleasant and unpleasant things without trying to ‘fix’ anything.  You don’t need to change anything, for it will change all on its own.  This releases us from the burden to make everything perfect.  Nothing will be perfect, so we can only do our best, and let the rest be.

But what if, you may ask, mindfulness is just another thing I HAVE to do and the pressure to do it is just all too much?  This is why mindfulness also needs to be self-compassionate. There are three components to self-compassion that can help us through the holidays.

Firstly, self-compassion means being kind to yourself, and saying no to the inner monologue that tells you that you can’t do it or you’re just failing yet again. Treat yourself as you would treat a small child whom you really loved.  Give yourself comfortable clothing and nutritious and tasty food.  Give yourself enough sleep. Give yourself love.

Secondly, self-compassion means recognizing that almost all of us struggle during the holiday season. Those neighbours with the perfect lawn and house decorations? They’re probably struggling.  Your super-organised friend who has a colour-coded, cross-referenced Christmas shopping list that they completed way back in August? Probably struggling. We all hide our struggles, and try to project to the outside world the best image of ourselves.  Perhaps the neighbours with the perfect decorations are grieving the loss of their child who loved Christmas lights.  Perhaps your super-organised friend feels they have to get Christmas ‘just right’ because everyone is depending on them.  So if you feel you’re struggling, chances are you’re not alone.

Lastly, self-compassion means being mindful.  Yep, we are back to mindfulness.  Every time you find yourself getting caught up in stress or negativity or worries, gently remind yourself to come back to the present moment.  Find a tactile object that you can really focus on: a stone, a Christmas decoration, or just the rise and fall of your chest as you breathe.  Tell yourself kindly that it doesn’t matter that you started feeling stressed.  The fact that you brought yourself back to the now is a victory.  If you have to bring yourself back a hundred times, it’s a hundred victories.  You can focus on the now in whatever you’re doing.  Feel the smoothness of the paper you wrap presents with.  Smell the aroma of your holiday baking.  Delight in the sparkle of your Christmas lights.  Listen to music that you really enjoy.

Don’t be afraid to take time-outs from festivities with other people to have a quick mindfulness moment.  Go in the bathroom, close the door, and just sit with yourself for one minute. 

Keep things simple. Focus on what really matters TO YOU.  If cooking is really meaningful to you, take the time to bake or make food that you really enjoy.  If you don’t love to cook – don’t worry about it!  Take-out food was invented for a reason! You don’t have to do EVERYTHING – something is always better than nothing.  Perhaps you can host a holiday party and ask others to bring the food.  Perhaps this year, you need to just have a quiet day at home, and leave the festivities for another year.

Take stock of your values and needs, and then honour them. You are worth it. And if you make mistakes, that’s ok.  We all do, and it’s a wonderful opportunity to try again.

If you are interested in some exercises and guided meditations to practice self-compassion, I can recommend the following resource by Dr Kristin Neff: https://self-compassion.org/category/exercises/#guided-meditations

May you have a blessed holiday season!

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year,

-Kiva-Marie

Merry Mindful Yule!

Seasons greetings!

Tomorrow, the 21st of December 2018, is the shortest day of the year here in the northern hemisphere.  For our southern brethren, it is the longest day of the year!

Here in Nova Scotia, where I live, tomorrow will only hold 8 hours and 37 minutes of daylight.  Many places in the far north experience total darkness round the clock at this time of year.  Reduced (or absent!) daylight is tough for a lot of people for many reasons: fatigue, cold weather and dangerous driving conditions, cold & flu season, vitamin D deficiency, and low mood (especially for those with seasonal affective disorder).

Yule is one of numerous winter holiday traditions that can help us get through the long nights.  Yule has been celebrated for thousands of years, and was originally a midwinter festival or period of time honoured by indigenous Germanic peoples.  Ancient yule traditions included animal sacrifices and purification of buildings and people by covering them with the animal blood.  YUCK. I’m so grateful I don’t have to celebrate yule in this way. 

Less gory yule traditions include:

1.       Evergreenery in the home

An evergreen tree can be decorated with fruit to feed fairies or forest spirits who shelter in your home in the yule tree.  A star at the top of the tree symbolises the five elements (air, earth, fire, water, and spirit). 

The yule log is another tradition in which a prime log of wood is selected for burning. Sometimes, evergreenery and berries are used to decorate the yule log.  Some people believe the log should be large enough to be kept burning for the twelve days of Christmas (impractical for most modern-day homes!).  Others think a piece of the log should be saved to light next year’s fire.  Some people don’t burn the log and burn candles on top of it instead.  In whatever way you choose to use it, the yule log celebrates the triumph of light over darkness, of good over evil, and heralds the return of the sun.

2.       The yule goat

The yule goat traditionally symbolises the harvest and fertility that the coming sun will bring.  Sometimes, the yule goat is pictured with St Nicholas, and may, in this situation, symbolise that the devil is controlled by a spirit of goodness and generosity.

3.       Wassailing

The most common type of wassailing is similar to caroling.  Singers would traditionally visit homes and offer a drink to the owner of the home from a bowl of wassail (hot mulled cider).  In exchange, the home owner would give the singers gifts.  Perhaps you remember the carol which goes:

Here we come a-wassailing
Among the leaves so green;
Here we come a-wand’ring
So fair to be seen.
Love and joy come to you,
And to you your wassail too;
And God bless you and give you a Happy New Year
And God send you a Happy New Year.

Another type of wassailing that I am super excited to have learned about, called orchard wassailing, comes from the west of England.  In this tradition, wassailers visit orchards in order to sing to the trees.  This blesses the trees for a bountiful harvest the next year.

4.       Feasting and merriment

Food is life.  Need I say more?

But, you may say, all of these traditions sound like so much work! Who has time to make mulled cider or go around singing to people? Isn’t Christmas enough pressure?  Are there special yule foods? What if I put the wrong thing on the tree?

This is where mindfulness can come to save the day.

Step 1: Pause before you act, and release what no longer serves you.

Think to yourself, what is it that I really love or really interests me about yule?  My favourite aspects are the nature-centred ones.  So when I plan my yule activities, these are my top priorities.  I am DEFINITELY going to be singing to my plants and trees this yule.  I’m looking forward to greeting the sunrise the next morning.  Additionally, there is a full moon shortly after the solstice.  I will be celebrating the last full moon of this year, too.

For you, it may be that gift-giving or spending time with your family and friends or celebrating with food are more important.  The tree may be an essential thing for you.  Traditions are only worth keeping if they continue to bless your life.  If your traditions are becoming a burden, maybe it’s time to let them go. 

It doesn’t matter what’s important to you – it matters that you honour it.

Step 2: Savour the moment

Sometimes we can spend so much time planning (or worrying) that we lose sight of just how lovely it is to have a day off and be surrounded by yuletide sights, sounds, smells, and those that we love. Take the time to breathe it in.  Relish the small lovely things and keep them tightly in your heart and memory.  The buildup to the holiday season has been given so much more time and hype than the actual holiday itself. This is precious time, and it is fleeting. My yuletide wish for you is that you may plan less and enjoy more.

As my yule gift to you, I’ve created a free downloadable yule colouring page (available HERE). Colouring is very mindful!

Blessed yule and solstice!

-          Kiva-Marie